To Be Alone On Christmas Eve
by Reasons For Laughing
Summary: Sequal to 'To Be Sad On Christmas Eve' Heero thinks about Duo after a fight, and a little girl helps him out. NO RELATIONSHIPS. Merry Christmas.


MERRTY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

and happy grand opening of The Phantom Of The Opera .

Disclaimer: don't own. deal. with. it.

NOTES: Everyone said write a 2nd chapter, so here we are. Yay. This one is from Heero's point of view. Year after the previous one(i.e. To Be Sad on Christmas Eve). 'Kay? Good.

DEDICATION: this is to everyone who bugged me about writing a 2nd chapter and Aine, who is sitting right next to me. Say hi Aine.

Aine: Hi!

Angel of Re.: Now on with the SHOW!!!!

* * *

It is snowing. Kuso, I hate the snow. It was snowing on that day. Poor little girl (1). Soldiers cannot cry, though. So I won't. But the lack of tears on my face just leaves more for my soul. My soul weeps. But there is no one for me to unburden myself on. Duo is not here, as he was last year. I only have myself to carry this heavy burden, which rests upon my shoulders. It seems selfish to mope tonight of all nights, while the others celebrate. It seems selfish to be here, when Duo probably needs me. It seems selfish not feel guilty at all. 

Relena called tonight. 37 times. She didn't seem to have anything to say, but that didn't really surprise me. She never really has anything to say to me, so I've long since stoped listening. Queen of the World. Feh. She's like a teenage girl on narcotics. I wouldn't be too surprised if that was true. Duo once said he thought she was a man. Ironic, but considering him, I suppose it is possible. And once again, I find myself thinking about last year, even though I tell myself not to.

Thinking about the past isn't going to make it true again. People grow and change. He's changed, but so have I. Reliving conversations I have had with him, I realize he was always changing. I was just always so constant, that I never thought about you. God, the whole world's changed, but I never really noticed did I? Ah, the curse of the jaded and joy of the ignorant. Life's past me bye, and I was completly oblivious to it.

The rooftop is cold. Colder than it was last year. Maybe it's because I'm alone, or maybe it's that I'm wearing a T-shirt and spandex in 5 degree weather. Duo says I really am a masochist, and I should just get on with it and kill myself. I never know he's serious or not. I hope he's not, but I've never been too good with sarcasm.

Soft footsteps fall behind me. A shiver runs up my spine. Someone's here. I know it. Years in the war train you for this sort of thing. I reach for my gun. My hand graps air. Shimatta!

"Hello. Are you lost?"

I recognize the voice almost at once. "Yes," I reply. Just like that day. Exactly, to the last detail. "I've been lost my whole life."

"Oh," she says. "Well, I'm not lost. I was looking for you!" I turn suddenly. Did I just hear what I thought I heard?

"Me?" I ask. I can faintly see the outline of her. That poor little girl. I want to turn away, but I can't.

"Yup!" she smiles. "I never got your name, mister. Or do you just want me to call you mister?" she asks, winking slightly at me.

"Heero. Heero Yuy." I sigh, turning away from her. How can she look at me the same way she did before it happened? How can she even be here? Perhaps I only want her to be here. Perhaps, I only want one person to forgive me. Yes, one would be enough. She's probably not even here. I bet I am talking to myself. Someone will come, and that will be the end. I bet it has already ended, and I am just too blind to see. Or too dumb to look.

"Heero, huh? That's a nice name. I'm Claudia." she extends a small, pearl white transparent hand at me, but I don't shake it. I'm afraid it'll prove she isn't there, and that would break my heart.

"Hi Claudia-chan." she smiles, and I wish she wouldn't. I wish she hated me, because I hate myself.

"Heero?" she asks suddenly. I glance at her. "Heero, I know what you were gonna do tonight. Don't. Onii-san and his koi and Chang and Maxwell will be sad."

I cock an eyebrow at her. "Onii-san? Quatre is your brother? Or is it Trowa? How do you know, anyway? You weren't even living with your Onii-san! And what exactly was I planning to do?!" By the time I finish I'm screaming and her slight, slim transparent body is cowering in fear.

"Quatre is my brother, yes! And don't deny it! You know you were gonna jump!" it takes a moment of staring at her before it clicks. That was what I was planning to do, wasn't it? I knew it along didn't I? That's what I was doing up here all by myself. I guess I really knew all along.

"Why not? Tell me!" I turned to her, my tears finally leaking. "Why the hell shouldn't I?!"

"Because," she says, evenly, like an adult. What had I taken away from her? She would have made a great person. What had I done? "Duo would be sad. And you don't want him to be sad. Do you?"

Tears fall freely from my eyes and my breath is small puffs seen only in this frigid air. "No. Never. He's . . ."

"The only one who understands you?" Bingo. She got it on her first try. Better than even Quatre.

"Hai." A soft chorus of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," floats up, and a smile grazes my lips.

"Go down and talk to him, Heero. It's Christmas. He'd like it. Please, Heero. I know you got in fight earlier," she says, smiling slightly. I gasp. How did she know?

"He said I didn't deserve to live for some of my crimes!" I cry suddenly.

"And you said that you never wanted to speak to a dirty orphan again." Kami! What did I do?!

"I have to-"

"Say sorry," she interrupts. I feel like a child again.

"Maybe," I say softly, stepping towards the edge of the Mansion's roof. "Maybe everything would be better if I jumped. Maybe then everyone would stop hating me."

"Nobody hates you Heero! Duo's pacing your room, trying to decide whether or not to give you your gift tonight or tomorrow. But what he wants so badly for Christmas is you to not be mad at him. Go say your sorry! Because," she adds so softly, I can barely hear her. "He deserves a better friend, but all he wants is you. GO!" she's a bit like Relena, when she's mad. I shudder and walk towards the door leading downstairs. I'm still not sure about what I'm doing, but I hope Claudia is right, and I'm not doing anything bad.

"Domou Arigatou, Claudia-chan," I whisper softly. Even though my back is to her, I can feel a smile graze her lips. "Wait!" I call suddenly. "What should I say to him?"

"What is he to you?"

"He's like . . . a brother."

"Go tell him," she says softly, and I reach for the handle and walk down into my room.

"Duo-chan?" I ask softly as I step into our room. He's sitting on his bed, crying, but tries to smile as I walk in.

"Hey, Hee-chan," he whispers softly.

"Gomen nasai, Duo-chan. Boku no baka(2)"

"Heero, I don't know what you mean- I don't speak that much Japanese, I don't understand!" he looks panicked, as though I'm going to shoot him or something.

"That's fine," I say softly. I walk over to my dresser and pull out his present. "Here, Duo, I know it's not much but . . ." I trail off, handing him the present. He tears of the paper fast and screams loudly.

"You got me a Linkin Park(3) cd?! I didn't know you could still get those(4)! Oh my god, it's must have cost a fortune! Thank you sooooooo much Heero!" he smiles genuinely at me even though his cheeks are still stained with tears. He hands me a small package. I open it slowly, and it turns out to be a ring. It's got a large red stone and has my name inscribed in the side.

"Thanks Duo, it's really pretty." I say, honestly, and slip it on my finger. He smiles. I smile, too. He yawns, and I chuckle. It is rather late. He runs up and hugs me.

"'Night, Hee-chan." I lean down and kiss his cheek, softly.

"Aishiteru, Onii-san.(5)" I walked out of the room, and downstairs, fast. I needed a drink. Badly.

Even though he knew Heero wasn't there any more, Duo put a hand up to his tingling cheek. He smiled a real smile, because he knew that no one could see it. "The feeling's mutual, " he told a wall, softly. "Brother," he liked the way that sounded. "Brother . . .yes." He lay down. "I love you too, brother."

* * *

1 Remember? from Endless Waltz? Botched mission. boom. little girl and doggie dead. T.T 

2 My Japanese grammer sucks, so this is probably wrong. Whatever. It's like 2 in the morning.

3 Linkin Park. HELL YEAH .

4 Remember, future. Probably not easy to find.

5 I love you brother. No, I'm saying they're gay in this particular story.

Kay, that's all. Yay. that was fun!!! Oh, and Aine, thanks soooooo much fro the help. You're a life saver!!!!Bai bai everybody! Merry Christmas!!!!!


End file.
